foster carrots // holy shadow

by Holy Shadow

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foster carrots songs recorded on 11/16/2015 in a dorm room in kalamazoo, michigan

all of these songs were written between aug 2014 - november 2015

s/o to the folks these songs r about for not getting mad at me

xoxo felix

holy shadow's tracks were recorded by hunter finden around the end of november 2015 in portland, maine. accompanied by rayne, dave, isabel, wes, hunter, and several cans of rolling rock.

released December 6, 2015

pic by sandeep sehbi


released December 23, 2015




Holy Shadow Baltimore, Maryland

thank you

maine --> baltimore

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Track Name: holy shadow - hello mom i shaved my head
i drank the water from the mountain
hello mom, i shaved my head
pissed in sinks across the country
just to pass out in my bed
and if yr card runs out of money
please do not treat me like a bank
did you learn that from your parents
or is it our friends we have to thank?
you are plato with a shotgun
hello god, please let me live
i was quiet in the classroom
now my hunger knows no end
it knows no end
it knows no end

i rode my bike up on the nightly
hello dog, don't break the skin
turned ghostly white almost every night
from the headlights i got caught up in
and i bought drugs out in the courtyard
of St. Michael's Catholic Church
you gave your body as an offering
to the temple of human hurt
and hey hey Jesus, Mary, Joseph
you're ignoring all my calls
i know that you are home now
because the sky's about to fall
about to fall
about to fall

and oh holy spirit, i am invoking yr name
it's all come to this, my dear theophilus
and nothing will ever be the same

so i gave you these nicknames in my journal
high priestess, daughter of god
thought i'd covered all my bases once
but somehow i still got caught
up in this sunday morning bender
i got drunk and crashed a car
and i painted Pollack-style splatter portraits
w/ the colors of your heart
but still you put flowers in my notebooks
and cut the pages from my hair
so i took this cup to the mountain top
and i drank that shit down right there.
Track Name: holy shadow - dysphoric in milwaukee
sometimes i ride my bicycle
other times i go to work
am i a product of my privilege
well, my life is not that difficult i know

so i'll be riding back to portland on a northeastern bound train
i'm in love with massachusetts but my heart belongs in maine

am i lonely because of my traveling?
well my heart is not an avalanche i know

and i wanna go back to how it was before those long walks to the grocery store i know

sometimes i wear a suit and tie
other times i wear a skirt
and now the city skyline's foggy
i am dysphoric in milwaukee
here we gooo

and i wanna go back to how it was before those long walks to the grocery store i know
i wanna go back before i opened that door those longs walks to that grocery store i used to know
Track Name: holy shadow - premonitions
i used to scream things at the winter
i'd get really drunk and scream obscenities in my kitchen
i used to take day trips to the water
do you remember when we first met that autumn?

we would sneak out on those night drives
dig up everything we'd buried and kept hid from view
and we would lay 'em in the backyard
and watch 'em all wither by the light of the moon

and these are just some things that won't come back to me
i'm getting drunk, i'm getting quiet, please don't talk to me
and this one's about all the things i wasted
when i was wasting all my time again

you know if things just weren't so different
well, maybe i would raise a drink to you
but right now i just can't afford that cab ride
so send my love to all the massachusetts crew

because you my friend you were a starfish
in an age when most of us still lived on the land
i am trying not to be selfish
'cause i know you found your place now in the sand

and these are just some things that won't come back to me
eli eli eli lamma sabatachni
this one's about and this one's about all the things i wasted
when i was wasted all the time again